A: Choosing a teacher is done with your heart, and the type of person you choose to be with you on your life's journey shows the condition of your heart. Your choice shows the discriminating faculty of your heart, the attractive power of your heart, the compassion of your heart, your feeling of worthiness, etc. It is a beautiful thing to have someone in your life who knows you and knows the steps ahead of you on your path.Ê

In choosing a teacher and building that relationship we are learning to trust, so the first criteria for a teacher is to be a trustworthy person who has trust in you. Then you can develop trust in him or her, at the pace you are comfortable with. Trust must not be demanded or forced; it is given as a gift from the heart. .

The ideal of a relationship with a teacher has changed over time, so the second principle in finding a teacher is to find someone who is tuned into the times. This is not the age of "Poverty, Chastity, and Obedience." This is the age of "Why?" and "Why not?" If a teacher can't answer your questions with real explanations, then find someone who can. The monk thing is old; it's been done, and done well. There are more glorious challenges in our time, for example: abundance, practical applications of unconditional love, and responsibility for co-creating the planet.

Thirdly, don't accept a denigration of any part of yourself. Some teachers employ negation, but it leads to trouble. Your mind is a wonderful thing, it is not "in your way." Your ego is a prize, a privilege of the universe given to you. It is not a distortion or an illusion. Your body is the crystallization of all that you are, not a limitation you should escape. Every cell of your body has memory, and wisdom. The deep, dark desires of your heart are sacred too.

As Shakespeare said, "There is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so." If you embrace unity, you will easily find your heart, because the experience of your heart is an experience of all the emotions there are, simultaneously. The path of the heart results in the discovery of the unity of all people, and that gives you access to the hearts of everyone.

The fourth principle is about integrity. How does a teacher gain the authority to be a genuine teacher? By being a genuine student. Everyone wants to be a teacher; who wants to be a student? But it is the one who has mastered being a student who can begin to teach. Beware a teacher who has never been a student. He has not learned what he expects you to learn.

Would you choose a lover who had never been in love before? How would he know how valuable love is? And would you choose a lover who has never loved one person but has loved many? If your teacher wants loyalty, she must show loyalty toward her teacher, and toward you as well. That's integrity: never asking you to do something that she has not demonstrated first.

It's fair to ask your teacher, "Who was your teacher?" If it was some disembodied spirit guide, then tell her to get a disembodied spirit student. You want a teacher who has experience with people, and the way to get that experience is to be a student.

If your teacher's eyes fill with tears of joy at the thought of her own teacher, then you've found a devoted soul who will carry you in love through Heaven and Hell and never abandon you, just as she has not abandoned her teacher.